tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35295162122022851272023-07-17T21:54:34.332-07:00Letters to LuciaI blog a lot, but now I'm raising my kid with R. These are letters for Lucia to read when she gets older.PapaZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01945901446242080664noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-694905100150731412009-08-13T18:36:00.000-07:002009-08-13T19:21:03.687-07:00One or Eighteen<span style="font-family:arial;">Dear Lucia,<br />You know, you're getting pretty old. You've grown up so much. I can't believe all the things you can do now. It's really quite impressive how far you've come since that first day I held you in my arms.<br /><br />That said, I think it's time we cut the apron strings. You are old enough to go out on your own. You don't need us to hold your hand anymore, Lucia. You can do it on your own.<br /><br />Soon, it will be your birthday. It will be time for you to grow up a little more and to take more responsibility for yourself. It's time to take those steps.<br /><br />As you take those first steps, remember that they're baby steps. Don't go too far or too fast. You could have a bad fall. Take your time and plan each step carefully.<br /><br />Of course, when you inevitably fall, your mother and I will be there. We'll help you back up, kiss you where it hurts, and send you on your way. Good luck.<br /><br />Love,<br />Dad<br /><br />P.S. - My back's killing me!<br /></span>comoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-38290459069016646972009-07-24T12:29:00.001-07:002009-07-24T19:45:09.497-07:00Things You Won't Know About<span style="font-family:arial;">Dear Lucia,<br />I know it's been some time since I last wrote you a letter. Much has happened in that time. You have several words at your disposal such as Momma, Dada, hi, hey, dog, no, etc. You're crawling like a champ and can climb most furniture. Your favorite pastime is to walk while we hold your hands for balance. Oh, and today we decided you have chicken pox.<br /><br />What's strange in all the things you are doing are all the things that you will never do. These are things that I or your mother have done or experienced, but you will not because times have changed and technology has evolved.<br /><br />Take a newspaper for example. You may not ever hold and read a newspaper that is actually made out of paper. We don't even have one delivered to the house anymore as we read the paper online. While it is possible you may be exposed to a paper newspaper in your lifetime, I'm certain you will not have black fingers from the ink that rubs off of a newspaper. Somebody fixed that years ago.<br /><br />Something else you may never experience is a Lego set that isn't primarily filled with rectangular pieces plus a few random wheels, windows, doors, etc. Even now, Lego sets are loaded with all kinds of specialty pieces. The days of building models that are all boxy and pixelated are long gone.<br /><br />What about a rotary phone? Your mother bought you a toy rotary phone, but you probably will never fully grasp what it is. You may never know a day when you can't carry a phone in your pocket or use it to surf the Internet.<br /><br />There are plenty of other things you won't know about. There's encyclopedias, VHS, dot-matrix printers, joysticks, privacy, and cursive handwriting to name a few. The list goes on and on. Things your mother and I became very accustomed to will not exist at some point during your lifetime (if they're still around now).<br /><br />This is not to say that your life will be less fulfilling than ours. You will have your own experiences and routines that will become mainstays in your life. Sometimes you may have to listen to me grumble about how things were better in the olden days, but you'll learn to ignore my complaints.<br /><br />So, when you hear your old man talk about how back in the day he used to blog and update his Facebook status, just listen. I'll promise to do the same for you.<br /><br />Love,<br />Dad.<br /></span>comoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-72523337512360628772009-05-16T12:22:00.000-07:002009-05-16T12:24:57.889-07:00Never Forget<span style="font-family:arial;">Dear Lucia,<br /><br />You're a little over eight months old right now. This is the best stage. You are fun, loud, and wild. We are having a great time. I don't want you to ever forget these times...<br /><a href="http://picasion.com/" title="create animated gif"><img src="http://picasion.com/pic9/5b0220d113dd479bb95cf31744cd86a2.gif" alt="create animated gif" border="0" height="225" width="300" /><br /><br /></a>Love,<br />Dad<a href="http://picasion.com/" title="create animated gif"><br /></a></span>comoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-65989634367126069382009-05-11T20:23:00.000-07:002009-05-11T20:24:18.422-07:00Mother's Day<span style="font-family: arial;">Dear Lucia,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I should have written this letter yesterday, but I was busy. Why yesterday? Well, Sunday was Mother’s Day. It’s a holiday intended to honor mothers everywhere. And if there is one thing everyone has, it’s a mother. And if there is one person everyone should honor, it’s our mothers.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I’m writing this letter to remind you just how much your mother means to you. You might not always believe that or remember, but I know what I see. Your face lights up whenever your mom enters a room. Conversely, you throw a terrible fit whenever she leaves. You have more fun bathing with, waking up to, being fed by, and playing with your mother than any other person in the world.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">That includes me. Currently, I am #2 on your list. I’m OK with that, because I love my mother too. That and your mother is pretty amazing.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Anyways, when you hit that age – 3, 6, 10, 12, 16…whenever – you’re going to butt heads with your mother. You’ll wonder how you could have ever come from someone so mean and unable to understand you. When that happens, I want you to read this letter and remember the good times and all that your mother has done for you.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Love,</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Dad</span>comoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-38894028792586455052009-03-07T04:25:00.000-08:002009-03-07T05:05:41.088-08:00PrincessDear Lucia,<br /><br />From time to time, people may call you a princess. Although you are not technically a princess (I am no king or any sort of royalty), these people have the best of intentions and only mean it as a compliment. You are being held with the highest of regards when they call you "princess". So, for the most part, it's OK.<br /><br />A good example of a princess was Elizabeth I. She overcame the execution of her mother and imprisonment to become Queen of England. She didn't even need a king as she was famously called "The Virgin Queen". As far as leaders go, Elizabeth is a fine example of a princess.<br /><br />A modern day princess that should be recognized is Princess Diana. Princess Di, as people liked to call her, survived the infidelity of her husband Charles to be an inspirational leader in the fight against HIV/AIDS and landmines. Sadly, she died in a car accident in Paris, but her legacy as a compassionate advocate for those less fortunate will live on.<br /><br />However, Elizabeth and Di are exceptions to the princess rule. Most see princesses as dainty, pretty, living a charmed life, not as strong, independent leaders like Elizabeth and Di. The idea of a princess is limited to the superficial even though it is meant in a positive manner. There's little room for autonomy, intelligence, and strength as you will observe in several Disney movies.<br /><br />I won't call you "princess" (unless we're playing a make-believe game in which you insist on being the princess). I won't put that on you. That's a lot to live up to regardless if we're talking about Elizabeth I or Cinderella. The only thing you have to do is be the best Lucia you can be. If others want to call you "princess", so be it. To me, you will always be my Lucia, the one who sings, plays, and explores the world around her.<br /><br />Love,<br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-27056815030909051712009-02-22T19:43:00.000-08:002009-02-22T19:56:11.052-08:00Kemper Museum of Contemporary ArtDear Lucia,<br /><br />Today, your mother and I took you to the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art in Kansas City. This was your first trip to a museum of any kind. The trip was particularly important because it was your first official exposure to art. Sure, we try to surround you with art of all kinds, but there is something inspiring and/or calming about visiting an art museum.<br /><br />I think you liked the art. You kicked and screeched at certain pieces. The pieces with distinct lines and dots seem to get your attention the most. Actually, you found our shadows and reflections in the marble floors to be even more intriguing.<br /><br />I suppose art can be found anywhere or in anything. You taught me that today. Never lose that fresh perspective on the world, Lu.<br /><br />Love,<br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-87173473007638791712009-02-11T11:00:00.000-08:002009-02-11T11:16:38.718-08:00My Birthday Gift to YouDear Lucia,<div><br /></div><div>Today is my birthday. Your mother's birthday was two days before. I will forever be able to tease your mother about being older than me. In fact, this will be an old family joke by the time you read this, one in which you will undoubtedly roll your eyes over.</div><div><br /></div><div>Every year when my birthday rolls around, I look back at my year and even my life in order to take stock of all that I've done (or not done). Some years have been better than others. (22 was disastrous. 30 was pretty great.) Of course, this year was all about waiting for you and getting to know you over the past five months. Because of your arrival, I have paid special attention to the legacy I'm leaving for you.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of my Facebook friends (I'll explain Facebook another time.), a former camper I worked with at a summer camp, told me how much she wanted her dad to share the kinds of things I share with you on this blog. She had several kind words for me and this blog, making me feel as though this was a worthwhile project, that you will appreciate the knowledge and stories I share here once you grow up. I hope she's right, but it's OK if you don't like the blog.</div><div><br /></div><div>Either way, I want you to know that as I look back over my 34th year on this planet, I have one crowning achievement: you. You have enriched my and your mother's lives more than you will ever know. You can read this in the blog, but hopefully I will show you how much I love you every day. If you ever want to know the story of your birth, which Pavement album you should start with, or what to do with a broken heart, you can read this blog...or you can just ask me. That's my gift to you on my birthday, Lucia.</div><div><br /></div><div>Love,</div><div>Dad</div>comoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-76455726394580008572009-01-25T07:53:00.000-08:002009-01-25T08:56:18.855-08:00Your DogDear Lucia,<br /><br />About seven or eight years before you entered my life, I adopted a dog named Bodhi. Now that you are in the family, Bodhi also becomes your dog. Logically, you have become one of Bodhi's people.<br /><br />Bodhi is a shepherd/rottweiler mix. He's a sweet dog who always wants to be near his people. Bodhi protects us by barking at neighborhood cats, kids playing in the street, and the UPS lady. As is his nature, he likes to herd us by pressing his big body into our knees.<br /><br />Bodhi also does some bad things. He has been known to sneak onto the leather couch where he likes to scratch the cushions, somehow making them more comfortable. Although your mother forbids it, he brings his bones upstairs, dropping them on the wood floor and leaving marks all over.<br /><br />One of Bodhi's most endearing qualities is his habit of checking on all of his humans. He'll periodically get up from his bed and walk through rooms, checking to see where each of us has set up shop. Bodhi has even included you on his rounds. We often have to keep him from entering your room as you sleep, but he wants to check on you anyway. You are his; he is yours.<br /><br />Love,<br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-85361588841325319062009-01-08T15:35:00.000-08:002009-01-12T18:41:34.474-08:00HolidayDear Lucia,<br /><br />Our holiday season is nearly over. Tomorrow, your grandfather and his wife will visit for the weekend. And in a little over a week, your mother will return to her teaching duties. This is the culmination of a little longer than a month's worth of celebrating what people call "the holidays."<br /><br />Not every one's holiday season matches. Some people celebrate religious holidays such as Christmas and Hanukkah. Others celebrate more cultural events such as Kwanzaa or Thanksgiving. Of course, most people celebrate some combination of them all.<br /><br />We have our own traditions. Our family usually hosts a Thanksgiving celebration we've renamed "Genocide Celebration" where several of our friends visit simply to have one decadent meal, usually featuring a smoked turkey. Around December 25th, we do some sort of secular Christmas celebration with a Polish feast on Christmas Eve. This is your daddy's favorite meal of the year. Then, as we did this year, we attended holiday celebrations for St. Nicolas Day, Hanukkah, and the Winter Solstice.<br /><br />The other component of this season is lots of exposure to family. So far, your Grandma Barb spent a week with us over Christmas; your Pappy and Grannie arrived as she left; and your Aunt Boog drove in on New Year's Day. And, as mentioned before, your Grandpa Tom and his wife Coleen will wrap up the holiday visits. I'm not totally sure why. That's just the way it is. Whatever the reason, it's good for you to know your extended family and to have good relationships with them.<br /><br />The other part of the holidays is time off. I don't get that much as I have to work on a different schedule than the schools. Your mom, on the other hand, gets nearly a whole month off at this time of yer, meaning that you will have lots of mommy time over the holiday every year, plus your own time off from school. Either way, it's a much slower time for everyone.<br /><br />Next year's holiday season is ours to travel. I'll have to tell you more about that later. Since it's taken me weeks to finish this letter, I'll just end it there. Later.<br /><br />Love,<br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-25359713539109163562008-12-20T20:44:00.000-08:002008-12-20T21:13:17.027-08:00Tonight, You SangDear Lucia,<br /><br />Tonight, we took you to your fourth holiday party in a week. Like the good sport you are, you tolerated the noise and being kept up way past your bedtime. In fact, you may have been the hit of this party.<br /><br />Tonight's party was a Winter Solstice celebration, held by your mother's doula. I'll get into this more later, but many of the Pagan celebrations have been misappropriated by Christians for their own holidays. This is technically the Christian holiday for Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ. However, Pagans had way better ideas for celebrating this time of year than Christians.<br /><br />Anyway, during this Solstice party, some bluegrass was played. Party-goers began plucking away at guitars, banjos, a ukulele, and something consisting of a string, bamboo, and a bucket. The music was fun and made everyone feel comfortable and warm.<br /><br />Your mother was holding you. As she turned you out so that you could see the musicians play, these shrieks came from your mouth. You sang for the first time tonight. Your voice surpassed the cooing that had been going on for weeks to this holler that was heard by all.<br /><br />I saw this coming, but it finally struck me how wonderful it is. Lucia, I heard your voice and nothing was ever more beautiful to me. I could listen to you sing for the rest of my life...and I probably will.<br /><br />So, keep singing, shouting, squealing, yelling, or whatever you do that expresses how you feel. I don't ever want to silence your voice. And you shouldn't let anyone silence you. Use your voice, Lucia. Make yourself be heard the way you did tonight.<br /><br />Love,<br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-37260024757888744652008-12-11T20:12:00.000-08:002008-12-11T20:13:48.555-08:00SometimesDear Lucia,<br /><br />Sometimes your dad gets on your mom's nerves. He doesn't mean to. It just sort of happens when people live together and love each other. Don't worry. I'll love your mommy forever.<br /><br />Love,<br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-17191083420259529942008-12-04T19:31:00.001-08:002008-12-04T20:00:40.690-08:00PavementDear Lucia,<br /><br />It's been a while since I've written you, but I thought I should remind you of the moment we shared this evening. Your mom left for a get-together and pilates tonight and the two of us stayed behind. Tonight, I played some music for you.<br /><br />We listened to Pavement's <span style="font-style: italic;">Slanted and Enchanted</span>, which sort of describes you at this point in your life. I actually own the vinyl version of this album, so you experienced the double treat of listening to one of the best albums of the past twenty years on the softer, earthier tones of vinyl.<br /><br />We danced and you kicked a ton to side A. It occurred to me that "Summer Babe" is a perfect song for you. I can't wait to enjoy the summer with you. You'll be taking first steps and all of that. You will be my summer babe.<br /><br />"Conduit for Sale!" caused you some discomfort, which it has always done for any girl/woman in my life - aside from your aunt. Luckily, the hook on "Zurich Is Stained" brought you back down. Well, it may have been the dancing in front of the mirror, but I prefer to think that you have a real appreciation for Pavement.<br /><br />Side B, in my opinion, is the better side of <span style="font-style: italic;">Slanted</span>. You responded appropriately with some rambunctious kicks and wide-eyed enthusiasm. You really responded well to "Two States" and "Perfume-V", but it was the break in "Fame Throwa" that really got you all riled up. Your good mood actually held up all the way to the end of the final track, "Our Singer."<br /><br />This was your first official exposure to Pavement and it went well. You've heard random songs by your daddy's favorite band, but this is the first time we've sat down together just to listen to an entire album together. This won't be the last. You will become rather familiar with Pavement whether you like it or not.<br /><br />You might like some pretty crappy bands over your lifetime, but Pavement will always be one of the first bands of your life.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-26021080644822659352008-11-12T17:36:00.000-08:002008-11-12T17:57:44.171-08:00Four Funerals and a WeddingDear Lucia,<br /><br />Although you won't remember it, you have traveled to you mother's home of Detroit twice in a two-week period. The reason was a wedding and funeral. You have been to two of the more important events in your extended family's existence and you're barely two months old.<br /><br />The fact is that your mother has a very large family. This means that you will have several more events like these to attend. Most of your extended family (including my half) live in the Great Lakes region (Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, etc.), so you will become very familiar with this area.<br /><br />The wedding was for you mom's cousin. Weddings bring people together as it is a celebration of two people who love each other and want to commit their lives to one another. Your grandparents have done it. Your mother (by the grace of god) married me. Your aunties Tara and Susan did it right before you were born. Lots of people do it. (Of course, some voters in California and other states only think certain people should have this right, but that's a letter for another time.)<br /><br />It also celebrates the induction of a new family member. For example, when your mother and I got hitched, she became part of my family and I joined hers. Whether we like it or not, when we marry (or make some sort of formal commitment), we are also saying that we accept our loved one's family as our own.<br /><br />This past weekend, we attended the funeral for your mom's grandfather. He was the patriarch of your Grandma Barb's clan. He was a great man whom your mother will tell you all about someday. It was a rather sad loss for the family to lose an important piece of its history.<br /><br />Although the funeral was a sad affair, it was also very life-affirming. I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">attribute</span> some of the happiness to you. Although your mom's family lost someone very dear to them, you entered and gave hope for the future. It also allowed the family to celebrate your arrival in dealing with their sadness. Just as the wedding from the previous week helped welcome a new family member, your birth and subsequent trips to Detroit signaled a new beginning for your mother's family.<br /><br />So, you have a very important part in your Grandma Barb's family lore. There's nothing you have to live up to. You just have to live your life and be you. So, welcome to the family, Little.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-23750968008376768642008-11-05T14:59:00.001-08:002008-11-05T19:48:09.396-08:00Barack ObamaDear Lucia,<br /><br />Last night, Senator Barack Obama won the election for President of the United States of America. Obama became the first African-American to win the highest office in our country's government. He did this with a campaign based on hope, change, and populist ideals. Our new president has also displayed tremendous leadership, an uncanny resolve, and an intellect absent from a modern political discourse that is riddled with partisanship and pettiness. Barack Obama has proven himself to be a remarkable candidate.<br /><br />President Obama's victory was more than just a man winning an election for public office. It was a social and cultural event like none other in my lifetime. I have been overwhelmed with emotion due to joy three times in my life. First, I wept and earned the title "Waterworks" when I married your mother. Second, Your arrival a little over seven months ago was maybe the most amazing, beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. I cried so uncontrollably that I could barely answer the hospital staff when they asked for your name. Now, there's Obama's win. I have teared up and choked back cries of joy ever since the election was called in his favor. It has overwhelmed me with pride and emotion.<br /><br />What Obama's victory means is that anything is possible. A black man named Barack Hussein Obama was chosen to lead our country because he is the most qualified person for the job. People looked beyond ignorant stereotypes and fear to see a leader in Mr. Obama. Hope was not just a campaign slogan or theme. The word is personified by Barack Obama. It's now possible for any kids, no matter her race, gender, wealth (or lack of) can reasonably be president.<br /><br />It's a good day to live in the US, Lucia. The possibilities with this victory are endless for you and your generation. Barack Obama ran on a campaign of hope and promise. You will grow up in his America. I'd say that's a good way for you to start.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-24001479739531573202008-10-22T14:29:00.000-07:002008-10-22T15:56:26.010-07:00All AppologiesDear Lucia,<br /><br />Sometimes we make a mistake or poor judgment which results in hurting someone. When you're young, the hurt tends to be physical. The hurt becomes emotional as you grow older. In either case, you will have to apologize for your actions. It doesn't matter whether you meant to hurt the other person or not. The fact remains that you have done something to hurt another person and you must rectify the situation.<br /><br />Believe it or not, even your dear old dad has hurt someone. I've offended acquaintances, friends, significant others, and even family. In all of those cases, I had to own up to my actions and apologize. There were times I didn't want to say I was sorry, but in the end, it was the right thing to do.<br /><br />An apology is like a gift you leave at some one's door. They can take it or leave it outside. That's not for you to decide. Your job is to apologize when you've done wrong and don't worry whether the person you hurt accepts it or not.<br /><br />Whatever you do, always be sincere in your apologies. Don't apologize unless you really mean it. No one wants an insincere apology. It's better to not say you're sorry at all than to lie or say something you don't mean. Of course, that also means if you feel deep in your heart that you did nothing wrong, don't apologize just for the sake of smoothing things over. Basically, mean it every time you say you're sorry or don't apologize at all.<br /><br />Another thing, don't apologize with conditions. In other words, don't say your sorry on the condition that the other party is also sorry. And don't apologize by blaming the victim. It doesn't count then.<br /><br />In advance, I will apologize for a few things I will undoubtedly do to you. I apologize for inadvertently making you self-conscious about your appearance your abilities. I apologize for not always taking your needs and wants into consideration when making decisions that affect you.<br /><br />I apologize for not understanding your interests. I apologize for trying to force you to like my music. I apologize for not approving of your friends and significant others automatically. I apologize for being too overprotective. I apologize for putting your education ahead of any of your other interests. And I apologize for any other way in which I will undoubtedly hurt you over your lifetime.<br /><br />There it is. I practice what I preach. That's how you apologize.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-81373739866480904362008-10-12T19:21:00.000-07:002008-10-12T20:00:35.245-07:00The Lowered Expectations of Soft BigotryDear Lucia,<br /><br />Your Granny and Pappy have some friends, J and K, that I have known since I was a kid. Pappy has known the couple forever. Your granny often walks with K in the park near where they live. Our families have done many, many things together. You grandparents even visited J and K at their time-share in Florida. These are old, family friends of your Granny and Pappy.<br /><br />Normally, I wouldn't hesitate to introduce to two close friends like J and K, but something has changed. Well, maybe nothing has changed in J and K, but they have said things that make me believe that they would not be a positive influence on you. Let me explain...<br /><br />There was a discussion about the current presidential election between Barack Obama and John McCain. J and K said that they could not vote for Obama because they believe him to be Muslim. While this is not true, Granny asked, "So what if he was?" Exactly, Granny.<br /><br />This is what we call "bigotry." Bigotry is an intolerance of anyone who is different from one's self. While I cannot protect you from all bigotry, I can make some decisions to limit its place in your life. It is doubtful that you will meet J and K while I'm around. This makes me sad. They are normally good people, but I don't want bigotry to exist in your life.<br /><br />Instead of meeting your grandparents' bigoted friends, I will do what I can to surround you with people who don't discriminate based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs. Of course, you may have to deal with such intolerance at some point in your life, but I don't want to to be the one who brings it into your life. I will introduce you to friends and family who have strong character, know right from wrong, and do not discriminate. If you want to know J and K, you'll have to ask Granny and Pappy about them.<br /><br />I don't know if I have made it clear in this letter, but it should be noted that your grandparents are not like their friends. They raised me to accept people for the strength of their character, not their religious beliefs - actual or otherwise. The same goes for anything else that might make someone different from myself.<br /><br />I will do my best to set a good example for you. Bigotry has no place in our home or family.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-5498859404173120832008-10-11T01:24:00.000-07:002008-10-11T01:37:54.799-07:00Baby AcneDear Lucia,<br /><br />You have come down with a bad case of baby acne over the past week. This doesn't mean much to you now, but you will be devastated when you hit adolescence and your second wave of acne hits. Not to worry, it's thought that baby acne clears up in a few months. More than likely, it's a case of you mother's hormones still raging inside of you.<br /><br />As mentioned above, this will not be the last time you deal with acne. Hopefully, your acne will be like ours: a mild nuisance that reoccurs periodically throughout life. Notice that I mentioned it will occur throughout life. Most people think it only happens during puberty, but you already know that is not true. Acne, to varying degrees, will happen for your entire life.<br /><br />This is nothing to worry about. In our eyes, you are the most beautiful thing we've ever seen, but we are kinda biased. What will really matters is the kind of person you become. If you are kind, thoughtful, diligent, smart, quick, careful, responsible, responsive, caring, consistent, and respectful, it won't matter what you look like. People will judge you for your actions, not your appearance.<br /><br />Now, keep in mind, this will not include the jerks in your middle school. They will tease you relentlessly for whatever they can find in order to cover up their own shortcomings. Of course, this is another letter for me to write at another time. For now, you should know that the acne will subside, but your character will define you forever.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-55166010460144252862008-10-05T19:20:00.000-07:002008-10-05T20:32:35.846-07:00There's Nothing Wrong with LoveDear Lucia,<br /><br />A while back, I wrote some blog posts about the music I wanted to play for you. Of course, that was before I knew you. I didn't know whether you'd like my music or not. I just wanted you to gain the same joy from music that I get every time I put on a record or see a band live.<br /><br />So, tonight I played for you Built to Spill's 1994 classic <span style="font-style: italic;">There's Nothing with Love</span><span>. Isn't that the greatest, most hopeful title for an album ever? You snuggled up in the Moby wrap while I swayed and danced to the record. We only made it through side A, but I could tell that the songs put you at ease. You recognized "Once" and "Car" from all the nights I sang you those songs.<br /><br />Then, for the first time, you let me feed you through a bottle without much fuss. This is a big step since your mom needs a break every once in a while from the feedings. It's not that she doesn't love nursing you, but sometimes we all need a break.<br /><br />You don't have to love this record, but you should know how much it means to me. The naivete and sense of wonder this album fills me is similar to how I feel when I watch you. Every day you seem to be more and more aware of the world around you. And every day, your mother and I fall more and more in love with you. I didn't think anyone (besides your mom) could make me feel the way a record like this does. I love this album, but I love you infinitely more, Lucia. And like I said, we are learning to love you more every day.<br /><br />After all, there really is nothing wrong with love. Is there?<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dad </span>comoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-47275239683354610902008-09-26T07:24:00.000-07:002008-09-26T07:53:55.430-07:00Binge DrinkingDear Lucia,<br /><br />I have a concern. I did not expect that we would have to have this talk so soon in your life. I mean, who has a chemical addiction at two weeks? However, I feel it necessary to discuss your binge drinking.<br /><br />At first, you sipped a little here and there. It hurt your mother at times, until she was able to find ways to deal with it. Your drinking happened occasionally. It was even cute.<br /><br />Then there were the late-night sessions that kept your mother up at all hours. You would drink so much that you'd pass out or even vomit everything you had ingested. This has gone on for a while and you should be aware of the effect it has had on us all.<br /><br />Hopefully, once you start solid foods, your dependency on your mother's milk will subside. In the meantime, your friends at PETA will be very happy to know that you prefer human milk to that of cows.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-34743758902407224532008-09-22T06:09:00.000-07:002008-09-22T07:38:13.542-07:00Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton, and 18 Million CracksDear Lucia,<br /><br />You don't know it yet, but you were born in one of the most significant years in our country's political history. For the first time ever, women have been a major part of the race for the presidency. Whether or not it happens in this year's election, it seems more than likely that a woman will be in the White House some time during your lifetime. Sadly, this has never happened before, but it could happen soon.<br /><br />Hillary Clinton nearly became the first female nominee of a major party. She was narrowly defeated by Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination. More importantly, she earned more votes than any other runner-up in such a race. 18 million people actually voted for a woman for president. It was a tremendous accomplishment considering that there has never been a woman president or vice-president in our history. Clinton referred to the mark as 18 million metaphorical cracks in the glass ceiling that keeps women from getting on top of corporate or political ladders.<br /><br />Even though Clinton did not break all the way through that ceiling, the Republican party has placed a woman on their ticket in the VP slot. Sarah Palin, the governor or Alaska, was chosen as John McCain's running mate. With this ticket, there is a guarantee of a first for the administration of our country. Either Barack Obama will become the first African-American president or Palin will become the first woman VP.<br /><br />The only problem with all this is that Sarah Palin is nothing like Hillary Clinton. Clinton has actually fought for issues such as equal pay for women, while Palin has continually taken anti-feminist positions on women's issues. The sense is that McCain chose Palin more so because of her gender (and ultra-right-winged political stance), not her experience or know-how. It's actually more insulting to women to choose Palin for such political reasons. Palin is not qualified; Clinton was. Of course, we've had a male "president" for eight years that was seriously unqualified (see George W Bush), so why not have a unqualified woman?<br /><br />The interesting development in this election is the attention paid to sexism. I fear that you will one day suffer from sexism, but hopefully the current dialogue will lessen that blow. When Clinton was still in the running, she was chastised for being too uppity or aggressive. She was criticized for not being feminine enough. (Whatever that means.) Now, Palin is receiving a lot of scrutiny for her appearance. No one wants to discuss the issues surrounding Palin, just her past as a beauty queen and hockey mom.<br /><br />In all of this sexist political banter, the issues are lost. Forgotten is the political tenacity Hillary Clinton brought to the campaign in gaining 18 million supporters. Lost is that fact that Sarah Palin knows nothing of the Bush Doctrine and thinks foreign diplomacy means that you can see Russia from your porch. No one talks about the leadership Clinton has shown in her time as Senator. No one mentions that Palin is involved in ethics violations as governor. The only detail about these two politicians that matters is their gender.<br /><br />My hope is that you will never be limited to your sex or gender (because they are two different things - more on that later). It's wonderful that you were born as a girl, and it will be wonderful whatever you decide to do with your life. I just don't want you to be pigeon-holed by some silly social construct. I want people to know Lucia for Lucia, because that will be good enough.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-61191723311625992322008-09-18T10:54:00.000-07:002008-09-18T12:19:33.503-07:00Scabs at One WeekDear Lucia,<br /><br />You are one week old today. The midwife weighed you and you are exactly the same weight (8 lbs 1 oz) as the day you were born. Another milestone was that your stub of an umbilical chord fell off in the bed.<br /><br />You will have many scabs over your lifetime, but few will have the meaning and significance that the umbilical chord holds. That was the chord that connected you to your mother...well, to the placenta that was attached to your mother. That is how you received sustenance while in utero.<br /><br />Speaking of connections, you mom's mom, Grandma Barb, flew in last night. You are a special grandchild to your Grandma Barb. It's not that she loves you more than your cousins. It's just that you are the daughter of her daughter. That's a special connection (even more so than the umbilical chord, which your grandma suggested we keep) that extends your feminine identity another generation. I know it seems confusing, but I expect that you will understand if and when you decide to have children of your own.<br /><br />As far as my connection with you, we do some some things together in your first week of life. Since your mom feeds you all the time, I have taken it upon myself to help sooth you whenever necessary. You tend to like walking, bouncing on the birthing ball, and singing.<br /><br />What do I sing to you? Well, I sing mostly music that is important to me. You really seem to like "Cut Your Hair" by Pavement...or at least Daddy's slow, twangy version. You also seem to like the Guided by Voices, Flaming Lips, Built to Spill, and Moldy Peaches songs I sing. Of course, I'm way off key and butcher many of the lyrics, but the songs seem to sooth you the same way they sooth me.<br /><br />You and I will have many more conversations about these bands and others. Plus, we'll have many more things that will connect us. We don't have an umbilical chord, but we'll make due with what we've got.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3529516212202285127.post-11858181583552964112008-09-15T06:40:00.000-07:002008-09-15T08:58:14.559-07:00They Say It's Your Birth DayDear Lucia,<br /><br />You were born four days ago, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/September_11,_2001_attacks">September 11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span></a>. That date won't mean much to you as you grow older each year, but it was a significant day in our country's history. Although the date has brought so much joy to your mother and me, it is remembered by so many others for a terrible tragedy.<br /><br />On September 11, 2001, a group of men coordinated a series of suicide plane crashes on various symbols of American capitalism, democracy, and military power. Two of the planes were crashed into two towers that were part of the World Trade Center in New York City. A third plane was crashed into the Pentagon, the US military headquarters. A fourth plane was supposed to crash into the White House, but the passengers inside were able to force it down into an empty field in Pennsylvania.<br /><br />Nearly 3000 innocent people died that day. The American public was fearful, then outraged. Eventually, our leaders would use the day's events to propel us into wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Wars that are still being fought as you live your first few days.<br /><br />Although I feel very, very sad for all those people who were lost on that day (and those lost in the resulting wars), I was so happy that you arrived just this past <a href="http://in-misery.blogspot.com/2008/09/its-girl.html">September 11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span></a>. Your mom labored for over 31 hours just to see your face and to hear your voice. This September 11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">th</span> made me forget all that suffering.<br /><br />Now, 9/11 (as people like to call it) means so much more to me. September 11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">th</span> is the day I received you. And for that I am eternally thankful. From now on, this day that caused so many so much pain will have a meaning of love and life for me. You are the reason for that change, Lucia.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Dadcomoprozachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07898082287641166601noreply@blogger.com1