Binge Drinking

Dear Lucia,

I have a concern. I did not expect that we would have to have this talk so soon in your life. I mean, who has a chemical addiction at two weeks? However, I feel it necessary to discuss your binge drinking.

At first, you sipped a little here and there. It hurt your mother at times, until she was able to find ways to deal with it. Your drinking happened occasionally. It was even cute.

Then there were the late-night sessions that kept your mother up at all hours. You would drink so much that you'd pass out or even vomit everything you had ingested. This has gone on for a while and you should be aware of the effect it has had on us all.

Hopefully, once you start solid foods, your dependency on your mother's milk will subside. In the meantime, your friends at PETA will be very happy to know that you prefer human milk to that of cows.

Love,

Dad

Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton, and 18 Million Cracks

Dear Lucia,

You don't know it yet, but you were born in one of the most significant years in our country's political history. For the first time ever, women have been a major part of the race for the presidency. Whether or not it happens in this year's election, it seems more than likely that a woman will be in the White House some time during your lifetime. Sadly, this has never happened before, but it could happen soon.

Hillary Clinton nearly became the first female nominee of a major party. She was narrowly defeated by Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination. More importantly, she earned more votes than any other runner-up in such a race. 18 million people actually voted for a woman for president. It was a tremendous accomplishment considering that there has never been a woman president or vice-president in our history. Clinton referred to the mark as 18 million metaphorical cracks in the glass ceiling that keeps women from getting on top of corporate or political ladders.

Even though Clinton did not break all the way through that ceiling, the Republican party has placed a woman on their ticket in the VP slot. Sarah Palin, the governor or Alaska, was chosen as John McCain's running mate. With this ticket, there is a guarantee of a first for the administration of our country. Either Barack Obama will become the first African-American president or Palin will become the first woman VP.

The only problem with all this is that Sarah Palin is nothing like Hillary Clinton. Clinton has actually fought for issues such as equal pay for women, while Palin has continually taken anti-feminist positions on women's issues. The sense is that McCain chose Palin more so because of her gender (and ultra-right-winged political stance), not her experience or know-how. It's actually more insulting to women to choose Palin for such political reasons. Palin is not qualified; Clinton was. Of course, we've had a male "president" for eight years that was seriously unqualified (see George W Bush), so why not have a unqualified woman?

The interesting development in this election is the attention paid to sexism. I fear that you will one day suffer from sexism, but hopefully the current dialogue will lessen that blow. When Clinton was still in the running, she was chastised for being too uppity or aggressive. She was criticized for not being feminine enough. (Whatever that means.) Now, Palin is receiving a lot of scrutiny for her appearance. No one wants to discuss the issues surrounding Palin, just her past as a beauty queen and hockey mom.

In all of this sexist political banter, the issues are lost. Forgotten is the political tenacity Hillary Clinton brought to the campaign in gaining 18 million supporters. Lost is that fact that Sarah Palin knows nothing of the Bush Doctrine and thinks foreign diplomacy means that you can see Russia from your porch. No one talks about the leadership Clinton has shown in her time as Senator. No one mentions that Palin is involved in ethics violations as governor. The only detail about these two politicians that matters is their gender.

My hope is that you will never be limited to your sex or gender (because they are two different things - more on that later). It's wonderful that you were born as a girl, and it will be wonderful whatever you decide to do with your life. I just don't want you to be pigeon-holed by some silly social construct. I want people to know Lucia for Lucia, because that will be good enough.

Love,

Dad

Scabs at One Week

Dear Lucia,

You are one week old today. The midwife weighed you and you are exactly the same weight (8 lbs 1 oz) as the day you were born. Another milestone was that your stub of an umbilical chord fell off in the bed.

You will have many scabs over your lifetime, but few will have the meaning and significance that the umbilical chord holds. That was the chord that connected you to your mother...well, to the placenta that was attached to your mother. That is how you received sustenance while in utero.

Speaking of connections, you mom's mom, Grandma Barb, flew in last night. You are a special grandchild to your Grandma Barb. It's not that she loves you more than your cousins. It's just that you are the daughter of her daughter. That's a special connection (even more so than the umbilical chord, which your grandma suggested we keep) that extends your feminine identity another generation. I know it seems confusing, but I expect that you will understand if and when you decide to have children of your own.

As far as my connection with you, we do some some things together in your first week of life. Since your mom feeds you all the time, I have taken it upon myself to help sooth you whenever necessary. You tend to like walking, bouncing on the birthing ball, and singing.

What do I sing to you? Well, I sing mostly music that is important to me. You really seem to like "Cut Your Hair" by Pavement...or at least Daddy's slow, twangy version. You also seem to like the Guided by Voices, Flaming Lips, Built to Spill, and Moldy Peaches songs I sing. Of course, I'm way off key and butcher many of the lyrics, but the songs seem to sooth you the same way they sooth me.

You and I will have many more conversations about these bands and others. Plus, we'll have many more things that will connect us. We don't have an umbilical chord, but we'll make due with what we've got.

Love,

Dad

They Say It's Your Birth Day

Dear Lucia,

You were born four days ago, September 11th. That date won't mean much to you as you grow older each year, but it was a significant day in our country's history. Although the date has brought so much joy to your mother and me, it is remembered by so many others for a terrible tragedy.

On September 11, 2001, a group of men coordinated a series of suicide plane crashes on various symbols of American capitalism, democracy, and military power. Two of the planes were crashed into two towers that were part of the World Trade Center in New York City. A third plane was crashed into the Pentagon, the US military headquarters. A fourth plane was supposed to crash into the White House, but the passengers inside were able to force it down into an empty field in Pennsylvania.

Nearly 3000 innocent people died that day. The American public was fearful, then outraged. Eventually, our leaders would use the day's events to propel us into wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Wars that are still being fought as you live your first few days.

Although I feel very, very sad for all those people who were lost on that day (and those lost in the resulting wars), I was so happy that you arrived just this past September 11th. Your mom labored for over 31 hours just to see your face and to hear your voice. This September 11th made me forget all that suffering.

Now, 9/11 (as people like to call it) means so much more to me. September 11th is the day I received you. And for that I am eternally thankful. From now on, this day that caused so many so much pain will have a meaning of love and life for me. You are the reason for that change, Lucia.

Love,

Dad